We each have a little kid inside of us. It's the part of us that is still trying to understand the world, the part of us that is still trying to get their needs met, and the part of us that can be hurt easily (whether we show this outwardly or not). This is the part of us that gets hurt and uses immature methods to convey that reality (i.e. lashing out, pettiness, arguing, or passive aggressive revenge). It is not wise to ignore our inner child. It is not wise for us to ignore the existence of our spouse's inner child. We need to acknowledge, accept and care for that inner child, both in ourselves and our spouse.
Sometimes what keeps couples from hurting one another is their ability to see each other's frailties. When you are able to look at your spouse and see that their behavior (which may annoy/hurt you) does not come from a place of malice, but from a broken place it changes the way you engage with your spouse. If you are able to see the inner child in your spouse it helps to soften your heart like nothing else. Just as you can feel yourself melt when you see a small adorable baby, there is a tenderness that comes when you are able to see this vulnerable side of your spouse. Note: This is why intimacy (vulnerable interaction) is important, it helps your spouse feel more connected to you and softens their heart toward you. It is important to see your spouse in this light because when there is a certain level of vulnerability present in the relationship, it increases the level of compassion. Compassion keeps bitterness, pettiness, and revenge away. Compassion keeps you from harming your spouse with your words and your actions. Tip: Do things with your spouse that will make your inner child excited. I remember a time that my husband and I were playing around and I started laughing. I must have caught the giggles, because I was laughing so joyfully, so freely, and so purely. Side note: I laugh and joke a lot so I'm always laughing, what made this stand out was the sound of the laughter, it did not sound like my normal laugh. It sounded like the laughter of a little kid. It made my husband stop and look at me and start chuckling himself. I remember talking with my husband after that and discussing how it shocked both of us to hear that laugh. He thought, as I did, that it sounded like a little kid. It was then that I realized that in that moment, I was as free as I was when I was younger. My inner child was allowed to fully enjoy that moment. My husband responded with "awwwww" and "come here". I responded by rolling my eyes and letting him hug me. It's important to do things that remove the stress and strain of "being an adult". It is a great stress reliever, but also it bonds the two of you. Try things like:
Note: You can choose the first activity, but be sure that you ask your spouse what they use to do as a child and plan that activity as the next. The goal is to get you both to experience the freedom of your inner child as well be able to see each other as you really are... a couple of big kids!
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Marriage FunThe wedding day shouldn't be your best memory. While marriage is fun, it can also a source of great happiness. This section is for those who wish to invest in their marriage. Archives
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