This was actually a homework assignment I gave to one of the lovely ladies that attended our May Sip and Chat. However, I realized that this is actually something that everyone can benefit from. The assignment is this:
Institute Toast it Up Tuesday! Toast it Up Tuesday- This exercise is designed to occur once a week (on Tuesday). You are to pour you a glass of your favorite drink (it can be tea, coffee, juice, wine, etc.) and you have to "toast" all of your accomplishments that week. You can have no less than 5 and as many as you can name until you finish your drink. There are no accomplishments too small, the only stipulation is that it must have occurred during that week. This is to ensure that you are constantly focused on your present wins and aren't celebrating wins from months (or even years) ago. Remember to raise your glass and toast (even if you are by yourself) and say your accomplishment out loud! There is power in hearing you talk highly about yourself. The "Why?" I realize that too many of us are going through life expending an extreme amount of energy on our failures, but simply brush over or discredit our accomplishments (our "wins"). In order to have a clear view of ourselves, we must keep accurate score. In order to boost our confidence and self-esteem, we must be able to celebrate ourselves. In order to have a healthy relationship we must learn to love ourselves first. Learning how to celebrate yourself is a great skill that will eventually help you in your relationship. We need to learn how to celebrate our accomplishments and speak highly of ourselves. This assignment is to be followed every week so that we can practice this skill. This will also help us to take time and focus on the positive. When we are able to celebrate the positive in ourselves we are able to do the same for others. I find that some of my clients have beaten themselves down with "shoulds" and other forms of obligation, they don't see their accomplishments because they are always focused on what they "should" have or be doing. There are many who are depressed simply because they are beating themselves up for not achieving some goal, never taking a moment to celebrate who they are and what they have overcome and accomplished to get where they are. If you don't have the confidence that you want, it may not be because you are not worthy of that confidence, it may be that you are just taking score wrong. You are overemphasizing your losses (failures) and not acknowledging your wins (accomplishments). How does this help? This exercise is scheduled to happen every week so that you cultivate this as a normal practice in your life. Setting time to practice noticing, speaking out loud, and celebrating your accomplishments once a week helps you to develop these skills. It's like developing a muscle, you have to work it out to build it up. Get Your Spouse Involved. My husband and I have decided to adopt this practice and to do it together. We each pour a glass of wine and toast to one another's accomplishments. This is beneficial to keeping your marriage healthy because this is nice way to "sneak in" a little date night! You are not only getting time to check in on your spouse but you are actually coming together as a unit to celebrate the good that you are each accomplishing individually. Developing this skill together is highly beneficial as it will sow into your marriage the practice of looking for, noticing, acknowledging and celebrating the positive! This is also a way to ensure that your spouse feels appreciated, celebrated, and supported by you and vice versa. Be sure to add this to your calendar and raise your glass on Toast it Up Tuesdays! Wishing you happy and healthy relationships, Leilani
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Marriage FunThe wedding day shouldn't be your best memory. While marriage is fun, it can also a source of great happiness. This section is for those who wish to invest in their marriage. Archives
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